Real Quotes From A Real Moron

"Arbolist...Look up the word. I don't know, maybe I made it up. Anyway, it's an arbo-tree-ist, someone who knows about trees."
Crawford, TX 8/21/01

"It's your money, you paid for it."
La Crosse, WI 10/18/00

"The Bob Jones policy on interracial dating, I mean I spoke out on interracial dating. I spoke out against that. I spoke out against interracial dating. I support the policy of interracial dating."
CBS News 2/25/00

"I don't read what's handed to me."
New York, NY 3/15/00

"More and more of our imports come from overseas."
Beaverton, OR 9/29/00

"I understand small business growth. I was one."
New York, NY 2/19/00

"Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods."
Austin, Texas 12/20/00

"If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it."
St. Louis, MO 10/18/00

"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation...You gotta preserve."
Nashua, NH 1/28/00

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
Florence, SC 1/11/00

"They Misunderestimated me."
Bentonville, AR 11/6/00

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question."
Reynoldsburg, OH 10/4/00

"Our priorities is our faith."
Greensboro, NC 10/10/00

"If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator."
Washington, DC 12/18/00

"There's nothing more deep than recognizing Israel's right to exist. That's the most deep thought of all...I can't think of anything more deep than that."
Washington, DC, 3/13/02

"And so, in my State of the my State of the Union or state-my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation-I asked Americans to give 4,000 years-4,000 hours over the next-the rest of your life-of service to America. That's what I asked for-4,000 hours."
Bridgeport, CT, 4/9/02

"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."
New York, NY 4/23/02

"For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times (Dude, it's been like 60 years)."
Tokyo 2/18/02

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believeÑI believe what I believe is right."
Rome 7/22/01

"I think we agree, the past is over."
Dallas, TX 5/10/00